Fear

Sometimes I feel as though I am the only one who deals with this irrational quiet fear that creeps in at the most inconvenient times. Now I realize that fear can be healthy - a motivation to grow and change. I'm not talking about that kind. It is a fear rather that is paralyzing, that inhibits greater dependence on God, growth and the ability to experience all that He has planned. Motherhood is a great way to work through some of this fear. Letting my child explore things that I might be nervous about, like riding the four-wheeler with Daddy around the farm. Fear to let them grow, to let them out of your sight, that they are still breathing as they sleep. Is Luke's kidney going to be alright? Beyond parenting, I must confess I deal daily with personal fears and now that Kyle is all over the nation on rotations, afraid of being alone at night. The beauty of all of this though, is running to the Rock that is Higher. A quote that was shared with me years ago still rings loudly in my heart today, "Faced fears reveal the face of God." Boy, am I clinging to that. And to be honest, some nights fear still takes away sleep. Some nights I know His peace, others are nights of prayer. And yes, that is a blessing too! There are much bigger fears that haunt me though, beyond the scary movie stuff - fear that many in the Christian community are missing the point. Are we really living out the reign and story of God in and through our daily lives? Are we motivated by fear or by love? Can the world see Jesus or do they see Pharisees? I so want to be motivated by love, not driven by fear. I don't know....any thoughts anyone? Does anyone else deal daily with fear? Also, I don't want to fear man, but rather the One who created man. And yet, I have this hunch that when fear creeps in maybe I am not supposed to try to always deal with it on my own, but rather ask for help. I realize more and more that I need others, that God designed it that way so we could learn to grow together. I am learning that it is okay to ask for help and allow others to be blessed too. Crazy ramblings..... Anywho, I do know that His perfect love casts out fear....teach me that truth, O Lord!