Reflections on a week with no children...

A few weeks ago my in-laws offered to take the boys for a few days so that I could catch up on some rest and prepare for baby Bryan's arrival - i.e. organize and unpack our remaining boxes. Little did I know that they would take them for 9 days. Granted I have been apart from Garrett for a week and Luke for a few days at a time, but 9 days! I knew that I needed the rest and that they would love the grandparent time on the farm, but these have been the longest 7 days I have had in a long time! I have missed them terribly and talk about way too quiet around the house. I'm in no way complaining, for the rest and break from dirty diapers and potty training has been wonderful! :) But it has also given me a fresh perspective on the blessing of our children and how much they shape, teach, and love me. It is easy to forget during long days without adult interaction and the constant cleaning up after two little guys under the age of three just what an incredible gift they are. We have an amazing role in shaping and forming these little people given to our care yet at the same time I never realized how much they shape and form us too. As parents we ask different questions and are forced to face our tendencies toward selfishness through the training of behaviors and attitudes forming in our kiddos' lives. They force me to consider on a regular basis what it means to speak and act like Jesus. They help us grow and change as we encounter our weaknesses mirrored in their attitudes and actions. I have a new heightened awareness of how incredibly precious the teachable moments are throughout our days together. I have a renewed desire to watch more carefully for those moments instead of slipping into the survival mode of just trying to make it through the day. This week has also made me realize again the brevity of life and time. During the process of organizing our home dvds I couldn't believe how quickly they have grown and changed. Time seems to speed up the older I get. People always say that these years will fly by and be gone before you know it, but it is hard to remember sometimes on those long survival days. I think about those who have lost a child to sickness or tragedy and how they can't ever forget the preciousness of each day. I prayed this week would be a time of refreshment and renewal as well as transformation (which often hurts) and I believe ABBA has answered that in reminding me of the gifts around me that I too often take for granted. Lord, remind me daily of the unbelievable gifts you have given me in my children and show me how I can embrace the time I am given with them as moments to learn and share your love. I use the phrase often, "all life is ministry" - I truly want to live that out in my mothering. I pray that somehow these little guys will encounter the amazing transforming love of Jesus in our lives as we constantly wrestle with what it means to live according to the Kingdom if God and not according to the world and culture around us. In one of my phone conversations with Garrett during the week, my 3 year tells me that Luke, his 18 month brother is not listening and that he needs to teach him to listen! :) Oh dear! Lord, teach me to listen....I don't want to miss out on the teachable moments You bring throughout the day! Thank you that you are a patient Father!

Well, so much for weekly updates :)! I think it has been over 11 months or so since I last posted. Without falling into the habit of giving excuses I am going to attempt once again to write every now and then with no unrealistic expectations I so often commit myself to abiding by. This past year has been a continued journey into new depths of freedom. Paul declares we are a "new creation" in Christ and I feel that I am discovering that reality in ways I have never known before, even though I have heard it most of my life. Learning to live in the reality of God's Kingdom and daily participate in His mission is so transformative not to mention thrilling. Encounter Jesus - never be the same. Encounter Jesus in those around you - never be the same. However, Jesus shows up in some of the most surprising places - or not, depending on your perspective. The gospel of Luke proclaims the entrance of the reality of God's Kingdom that turns the world and even the "religious" views of reality and truth upside down and affects every aspect of life and society. I love it! It is to the poor, oppressed, broken, weak that Jesus pronounces his message of hope. Sometimes I'm afraid as American Christians we tend to spiritualize the message of Jesus to the point that we totally miss the fact that he was speaking to economic and physical realities as well as spiritual. I struggle more and more identifying with churches and "Christians" who live almost oblivious to the suffering around them while only focusing on their own comfort or gain - bigger more beautiful buildings are not what we need, rather a people living out the transforming reign of God in their communities, homes, and places of work and participating in the restoration of creation. I struggle with this myself - what does this look like in my daily life as mom, wife, sister, and friend? In what ways am I too sucked in ever so subtly by the consumerism and individualism and success-driven culture around me? What does it mean to take up the cross and follow Jesus? Well....more musings later! Off to some desperately needed sleep after a long day with two very busy boys. Kyle had a 12 hour shift today that turned into more of a 16 hour shift and he is finally home! No work tomorrow! Yippee!